Bio

Oh, hi.  You came here to learn about me but I’m just a gigantic mess.  After two college degrees, I still have no idea what I’m doing.  Every day, I fly by on the seat of my pants and continuously wonder how my chain of choices has landed me in each situation I’ve ever been in.  Inappropriate jokes and gallows humor fuel me through the day.  If you’re easily offended, this is not the place for you.

I just want a cracker that won’t break when I put it in my tuna.

Me

Growing up in a three-bedroom ranch in Kentucky with eight family members was… interesting.  Grandma just couldn’t stand to see anyone on the street– which is exactly where half my family ended up, I think.  Ok, not half, but you get the point.  I “made it out” and I promised myself I’d always do better than the day before. I’m taking a fucking mountain of lemons and making lemonade.  

It would be an understatement to say I was dealt a shitty hand, but you still have to play the hand you’re dealt, right?